"I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep."
YOU DID NOT QUOTE SPONGEBOB AND MAKE IT SOUND POETIC AND BEAUTIFUL
what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
i guess howard couldn’t have predicted how hard the 2008 economic crysis would hit hydra
I found a baby pug at the pet store, she was everything I imagined and more.
Via rêver grand et de l'amour vie
THIS TOOK A FAR DIFFERENT TURN THEN I EXPECTED
DUDE THIS IS ADORABLE
WO WEARS A BRA TO BED THATS HELLA UNCOMFORTABLE
BUT DID YOU GUYS GET COFFEE?!
did he give her 2 thumbs up?
no but my fave part of this is the writing on her back says “go sit on a dick Putin”